Well, I started this blog and then quit. But I think I will continue it for myself, and I really dont care much who reads it, but its a good way for me to log what has happened and something for me to look back on, not to mention the therpeutic part to it.
This am I was back on call after having 8 days off over Christmas. Last night I read a man's blog, about receiving a set of lungs from a 17 year old girl. I had been sitting there griping to myself about going back to work and it set me strait really fast. I thought "hey you, most people dont have jobs like you do, most people sit at desks all day, do the computer, sell insurance, but look what you get to do the next 7 days on call, you get to make a real difference for someone, for many people, and that is so priceless in many ways." I thought, ok priorities strait, I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow. I woke up cheary and ready to go, and got a page around 8 from a local trauma center who had an older lady who met brain death criteria and was told the doctor will be in shortly to do an apnea exam to declare her. Her daughter wants her to be a donor.
I drove to the hospital, thinking what an amazing family. Here they are right after Christmas, and they are thinking of others at this horrible time. I was honored to be going to help them. I arrived, was told that the doctor wasn't there yet. Dealt with some unruly RTs who were upset about having to work, a nurse who moved about .00005 mph... and doctors who wouldn't come into delcare the patient brain dead so that we could procede. I spent the next 4 hours, trying to get someone, anyone into to do THEIR JOB, but no one would. No one would support the patient either and her blood pressure fell because of the DI. So in the end, I had to tell this family "I'm sorry but your mother can't be a donor because the doctors wont come in". I felt sick, there was nothing I could do and it pissed me off that this hospital let it happen. The charge RN, the Hosp admin RN, no one would do anything. The doc took 3 hours just to call back, making this family wait this whole time. It so sad that this was denied them. I hope to never be a patient there ever, but no I will eventually have to go back as a coordinator...
So I am sitting at the office, upset that someone today wont have the opportunity to receive what this family had to give because of tis hospital staff. I want to say that I hope one day they are in that position and someone does that to them, but I would never wish that on anyone, would never wish that anyone was denied that life saving gift that that family so unselfishly had to offer. My discust with this hospital is pretty deep right now. I need to get back in the ring and take it out on my instructor when I get back to class soon. :)