New Years Day

All is quiet on New Year's Day.
A world in white gets underway.
I want to be with you, be with you night and day.
Nothing changes on New Year's Day.On New Year's Day.

Except there is no world in white, just brown today with some red here and there. And all is not totally quiet, though its just been referals today. One thing is, things do change new years day, neuro assessments for one.
I traveled around the city this morning, my first stop a hospital 10 min away. This isn't a place we have done many donors at, actually 1 to be specific. But they keep trying to their credit. Now if they would just understand that if someone breathes on their own, their brain works. Its black and white. Dead, or not dead. You either breath or you dont. Simple right? No. Not even for educated individuals, nurses and doctors included to understand. Sometimes I wonder how these people get their medical degrees and pass their state boards. So the patient I see is a young girl. I listen outside the room as the neurologist talks to the mother. She is overbreathing the vent and flexes, I know she isn't brain dead. He comes out and the charge RN and pts nurse ask if he is going to do brain death testing... oh jeez. We both explain that if the pt is breathing, no testing, no point. Blank stares... ohhh jeez. I also spend 30 minutes in the break room educating another nurse to that fact because she was frustrated over another pt that couldn't donate because they weren't brain dead. I told her there are things we dont compromise on, and thats one of them. We dont declare pts brain dead when they are still breathing. Simple right? No... apparently not. Sigh sigh double sigh.
I leave and journey NW to the big hospitals who's nurses understand somewhat more, but sometimes not. Things are crazy all over, I see a wife crying over her husband who collapsed taking xmas decorations down, I see a mom by her son's bedside praying. He was beat up last night at a party...
I come home and look at my kids, my oldest is told about the young kid, drinking, at a party, a normal child, but somehow I hope by telling him these things he will be somewhat unnormal...I dont know. I hope and pray everyday I am not that mom, or wife for that matter. Collateral damage from this job happens every day to me.
I just ate at my parents, about ready to head home and I get a page. The lady has cancer and I feel bad because I am happy I dont have to go. I'm so horrible sometimes, lord bless the starving pigmys in new guinney. oh no, the same hospital just paged me back, I was lucky once, but usually not twice.